Sunday, June 12, 2011

Lesson 7: Know When You're Going In Circles





Me: "You love baseball more than you love me."
Boyfriend: "No I don’t, that’s ridiculous."
Me: "Yes you do. If me and baseball both showed up at your front door you would have sex with baseball first."
Boyfriend: "You could watch..."

Every couple has something they are likely going to argue about until the end of time. For my boyfriend and I, it is the never-ending “Dropball vs Curveball” argument.

See I have played softball my entire life, and he baseball. I was on the university softball team and he on the university baseball team (a peek into the “how we met” story perhaps?). Problem is, while some of the pitches have the same name, they do not do the same thing. The most glaring example of this is the curveball.

In softball, the curveball typically curves to the left. In baseball, a curveball dives downward. What follows is a rough dialogue of our neverending fight:

Him: "Baseball was established first, which means it’s right."

Me: "The only reason it was established first is because that time period was sexist, otherwise softball would have been around at the same time."

Him: "Are you really going to play the sexist card on me here?"

Me: "Are you really going to play the “shotgun” card on me here?"

Him: "........."

Me: "........."

Him: "Softball is an adaptation of Baseball. Therefore, Softball should use whatever was currently in place. Baseball calls it a curveball, so Softball should call it a curveball."

Me: "No way! A curveball should curve, not drop. Baseball’s curveball drops, therefore it should be called a 'dropball'. Softball’s curveball actually curves. Softball got it right."

Him: "No, Softball made up the name 'dropball' because they’d already used 'curveball' incorrectly. Softball is just adding to its first mistake."

Me: "No, Baseball is adding to its first mistake. Who names a pitch after an inaccurate movement? Did they want it to curve? 'I’m gonna go outside and practice throwing a spiralball. It doesn’t move in a spiral or anything, but I really want it to so that’s what I’m gonna call it.'"

Him: "........."

Me: "........."

Him: "Baseball pitching mechanics are harder, we should get to name the pitches."

Me: "Baseball pitching mechanics aren’t harder, they’re inferior. Softball mechanics go along the natural arm movement. If Baseball was around first, why didn’t they think of that?"

Him: "You play with a yellow ball."

Me: "You’re too scared to play a reasonable distance from the batter."

Him: "You have helmets specially made for your ponytails."

Me: "You re-adjust your crotch between every pitch."

Him: "You think 7 innings is a full game."

Me: "You think 3.4 is a respectable ERA."

Him: "........."

Me: "........."

Him: "There’s no such thing…as a riseball."

Me: (Gasp!)

Him: "........."

Me: "Take it back."

Him: "No."

Me: "Take it back." (I grab his Atlanta Braves hat).

Him: "You leave my hat out of this!"

Me: "No! Take it back or the hat gets it. I’ll put it in a room with Study Buddy (one of our cats) and he’ll piss all over it."

Him: "You wouldn’t..."

Me: "I might. I’m a crazy person right now. I don’t know what I’m capable of."

Him: "........."

Me: "........."

Him: "Please put my hat down."

Me: "Take it back."

Him: "........."

Me: "........."

Him: "Fine."

Me: "Fine what?"

Him: "I take it back."

Me: "Say it so I believe you."

Him: "There is such thing as a riseball."

Me: "...and?"

Him: "And what?"

Me: "You know what."

Him: "........."

Me: "........."

Him: "...and I probably couldn’t hit it."

(I hand him his Atlanta Braves hat).

Him: "This isn’t over."

Me: "I know."

Him: "I'm hungry."

Me: "Spaghetti okay?"

Him: "I love you."

Me: "I love you, too."

Yes, I'll admit holding his Atlanta Braves hat hostage is probably below the belt, but then again so is his riseball comment. I love my man dearly, but the fact is, neither one of us are ever going to concede to the other when it comes to this particular topic. And honestly, I'm okay with that. The last thing I need is a man who agrees with me just to shut me up. I want someone intelligent enough and passionate enough to stand their own ground and still be able to say "I love you" at the end of the day.

And I think I've found just that.




What are your neverending arguements about?


 The Not-So-Secret Confessions of a First Time Mom     




18 comments:

  1. Our neverending argument - "it's your turn to bathe the kids..." "no, it's your turn"..."I just did, the last time" and it goes on and on.

    I'm on your side here. This is such a sweet post. I'm happy for you that you've found the love of your life.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm on your side- when I picture a "curveball" I expect it to curve, not drop...but then again, I'm not really into softball or baseball, too slow...

    ReplyDelete
  3. what a great post! Thanks for the giggle. Sir M and I argue a lot about really basic and slightly dumb stuff.... "do the dishes", "when I mean do something, it kinda means right this minute"....

    ReplyDelete
  4. Our arguments are usually over the responsibility of the kids and housework :)
    I'm your newest follower from the Monday Blog Hop! Glad I found you.
    Bianca
    http://www.slickhousewives.com

    ReplyDelete
  5. Fantastic post. Just what I needed.

    ReplyDelete
  6. A red sox hat would be more scary and worrisome! I would agree to anything holding that! lol... I love this post! I played softball for 13 years it was my passion... And i 110% agree with this post LOL...
    I am a new follower from the blog hop!

    Hope you can follow me back :) I am very excited to read more posts! these are great! thank you so much!
    Mommy2Nanny3Doggy1.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hi! Just stopping by. Following you from the Mom Blog Monday Blog Hop. Would love a visit and a 'like' back on my page: www.facebook.com/flightlessgoose or follow my blog: blog.writerslairbooks.com. Thanks so much!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I think every couple has one of those never ending arguments. It's a testament to how well you know each other and how well you know how to push each other's buttons. My never ending argument with my boyfriend is about how messy my sewing table is all the time. My parents argue about the Blake Shelton song Austin (my mom says Austin is where she's from, my Dad says that's her name) and every time the song comes on, the argument is rekindled.

    ReplyDelete
  9. thanks for stopping by n.c. baby blog! Im now following you back! :)

    Ali
    www.ncbabyblog.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  10. haha great post! Nothing is below the belt when it comes to getting your point across! Husband and I argue about which Ice Cream brand is better! haha

    Thanks for visiting my blog last week, and for the comment! :)

    Hope you visit again soon.

    http://sarahgracethompson.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  11. funny post! I'm returning the follow from the blog hop. Thanks for checking us out!

    Denise
    http://www.boyzruleourworld.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  12. "The last thing I need is a man who agrees with me just to shut me up. I want someone intelligent enough and passionate enough to stand their own ground and still be able to say "I love you" at the end of the day."

    Amen sister. Glad you found what the rest of us are still searching for.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hi! I wanted to highlight you and your blog in a future post for a new section I'm doing on mine called 'Saturday Shout-outs'. Each week I'll be highlighting a great writer- like yourself. My hope is that it will not only bring more readership to both of our blogs, but that we can learn a little more about each other.

    If you're interested, please email me at asoto0703@gmail.com.

    Talk to you soon!

    ~Amber 'SortaSuperMom' @ http://confessionsfromboystown.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hmm, I feel like we have so many neverending arguments that I don't even know where to begin. We're both locals and we have very different perspectives on various local events and traditions which can always spark neverending debate. (Of course, I'm always right.)

    Sweet post!

    ReplyDelete
  15. My ex-girlfriend and I used to go people watching and argue over which girls were prettiest. She preferred japanese girls, and I favored mediterraneans. I'm not japanese, and she's not mediterranean, so maybe that had something to do with us breaking up.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Visiting from Alexa blog hop! Please check out http://www.sheinvented.com. Thanks :)
    Sorry about the numbers on ID. Trying to fix it.

    ReplyDelete
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