(While watching the movie "Home Alone")
Boyfriend: "Why don't you wear more outfits with shoulder pads?"
Me: "I dunno. I really should. I know how much you're attracted to linebackers."
Some people, as a hobby, collect certain items. Stamps, coins, dolls; the list can go on forever. When I was in 6th grade, I had a small collection of bookmarks. No idea why, it's not like I was ever reading more than one or two books at a time. But nonetheless I had a stack of about 120 bookmarks, and I was very proud of it.
Now that I'm an adult, my collections have changed a bit. Of course during my undergraduate years I, like many (if not all) college students, went through a shot glass collecting phase. My boyfriend and I also had a decent collection of local beer glasses, but after accidently putting all of our dishes in the "donation" pile during our last move, we've recently had to begin rebuilding the collection from scratch.
However, there is one thing we do collect that we're actually fairly proud of. It's a hell of a conversation starter, and the source of envy for more than a few of our friends. I don't even know how it got started really, but I've got to say, it's been a seriously useful group of items to have around the house.
My boyfriend and I collect awesomely bad movies.
First of all, we must define the term "awesomely bad", and I would define it as something so incredibly awful that it's hilarious. Now these are different than movies that are intentionally trying to be bad. I mean don't get me wrong, "Airplane" and any of the Monty Python movies are hugely funny, but they would be under the category of awesome, not awesomely bad. I think the perfect storm is when a movie tries to be scary or serious, while at the same time trying to make a political statement or teach a lesson. When it all goes wrong, the corniness factor basically skyrockets. And when that happens? It ends up in our living room, on our special awesomely bad shelf.
A little top ten action, you ask? Why certainly!
Top 10 Awesomely Bad Movies
Take your overall karate movie plotline: a kid considers himself a nobody so to turn his life around, he begins idolizing someone who is seen kicking ass on a regular basis. Who better than Chuck Norris? And no I don't mean Chuck Norris as a character, I mean Chuck Norris as himself. In a classic case of overacting and good vs evil (not to mention some seriously impressive nunchuck action), Chuck once again goes the distance in awesomely bad movie #10. Unless you want to spoil the climactic (although possibly predictable) ending, here's a little peek:
I actually struggled whether or not to put this movie on the list. Since it has a cast consisting of Dan Aykroyd, Chevy Chase, and John Candy, I really had to debate if the movie was meant to be horrible. Nonetheless, while there was an abundance of slapstick humor (the judge's removable nose is the tip of a...um...p.e.n.i...), some basic laughable dialogue (c'mon it's John Candy and Chevy Chase), and even Demi Moore (in an obviously insignificant career move), I just couldn't get past the utter ridiculousness of the characters and premise. The movie literally has no plot, just a string of events that seem to be an excuse to...well honestly I have no idea. Still, looking back, I just can't fathom how a movie could be made this bad unintentionally, so maybe I'm in the wrong on this one. Still, if you consider yourself an individual who happens to be rather friendly with a young lady named Mary Jane, you might want to consider putting this one in your overall movie collection next to Fear and Loathing. Here's a look at the preview:
8.) Class Act
Oh where to start...
Set in the early 90's, from the rap/pop duo Kid'N'Play in the midst of shoulder pads, stonewashed (or is it acid washed?) jeans, and electro jams, this movie clearly shows the longterm effects of inhaling large amounts of hairspray for an entire decade. Two high school students, the honor rollee and the criminal, enroll in a new school where they find their transcripts have been inadvertently switched. With both students desperate for a chance to live life on the "other side of the tracks", they don't alert the school to the error, and shenanigans ensue. Add on an over the top "Say No To Drugs" message, and the movie crosses over into the realm of awesomely bad. Although basically anything from this time period provides a weath of movies known for their embarassing 90's existence, this one just barely finds itself in victory lane. It was a close one though (I'm lookin at you Return To Frogtown). Here's a preview:
7.) Street Fighter
In this video game adaptation, you've got all the makings of a great movie. A $20 million ransom, a fictional region of Asia, gang infiltration, an amazing amount of fighting and explosions, mutants...
Problem is, you also have some incredibly cheesy lines combined with some brilliant overacting. Don't believe me? It stars Jean-Claude Van Damme. 'Nuff said. Here's the 1994 trailer:
Ah your everyday love story about a kid from out of town, just trying to get by on his above average skating skills. Throw in a predictable conflict with the high school hockey jocks and a gigantic, completely unrealistic downhill "course" named Devil's Backbone, and you've got yourself a stage set for some awesomely bad rollerblading redemption. There's also the rare treats of seeing some of our more successful stars in their beginning days (Jack Black, Seth Green, among others). I present to you a slice of my listworthy movie #6:
5.) Only the Strong