Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Spring Cleaning = Play Time

"Why on earth are you wearing ski boots?"
"I'm cleaning."

I believe it would be safe to say that the vast majority of people in this world have another childlike version of themselves that tends to show up in certain situations. Maybe the sight of stamps causes a sudden flashback to the massive sticker collection of your youth. Or maybe that friendly game of checkers with Grandpa brings out the aggressive competitive nature of your varsity days (it doesn't matter if he's 95 and has a fake hip, you're undefeated and damnit it's going to stay that way!).

Besides anything with an underlying competetive nature (of which mine is extremely prevelent), the activity that brings out my inner child the most is, surprisingly, cleaning.

I, like many people, am horrible at cleaning. I want nothing to do with it. I get no joy from seeing a freshly scrubbed kitchen; I only dream of ways to dirty it up again. And cleaning for me takes forever. Why? I'll get to that.

Often, in his desperation, my boyfriend will resort to giving me small, simple tasks to do. He'll agree to clean the entire house if I just focus on one or two things (I know, right? Have I found myself a good man or what?!). So he'll ask me to clean out one room. Just one. That's all. Usually it's the closet. Just a closet, how hard can it be?


Well... to put it bluntly? Effin' hard. The closet is packed with hazards, and my lack of focus combined with the new discovery of things I had completely forgotten about makes for some dangerous territory. Here's the breakdown:

1.) Box of old clothes I forgot I had. Commence imaginary fashion show. Try on 80's legwarmers, tutu, and leather vest.

2.) Clothes from even younger days. Remove old t-shirt I'm currently wearing and replace with 3 sizes too small hand-knit sweater from Grandma. Layer with leather vest from previous box. Add gelly shoes.

3.) Seasonal items. Remove gelly shoes and replace with ski boots. Add goggles.

4.) Holiday decorations. Add witch's hat and plug in Christmas lights. Stare at Christmas lights through goggles. Eat a piece of 6 year old Easter candy. Spit out candy.

This is usually when my boyfriend comes to check on me.

"What," he askes, "are you doing?"
"While wearing ski boots?"
"I'm a robot."
"You're not cleaning, you're playing. This looks worse than when you started."
"It gets worse before it gets better."
"That's only true with renovations. Are you saying you're renovating the closet?"
"Take off the goggles."
"You have a sandal hanging from your belt."
"It's my walkie-talkie. Yours is right here."
"You're standing on a pile of books."
"The ground is hot lava."

He takes his "walkie-talkie" and leaves. I continue.

5.) Box of broken electrical appliances I swear I'm going to recycle. Put aside.

6.) Box of old holiday cards and elementary school homework assignments. Sit down and go through 1st grade "What I want to be when I grow up" booklet. Laugh. That's clearly the wrong spelling of 'astronaut'.

7.) Box of games. Practice shuffling cards.

8.) Box of tools. Pretend to build a time machine out of the broken appliances found in box #5. Answer walkie-talkie. Keep it short the line is probably tapped.

9.) Box of old pictures. Go through them. Pay attention they could be a clue...

He returns, holding the other sandal. "My walkie-talkie doesn't work."
"I know. I gave you a faulty one. It was for your own safety."
"Ahh," he smiles. "Thanks for looking out."

Then he usually sits down with me as we reminisce over old pictures and love letters. Progress for the day comes to a halt, but that's okay. The closet can wait. At the end of the day I get to relive all the reasons why I have those boxes of junk, and it makes me incredibly content, appreciative, and grateful. Besides, thanks to my boyfriend I know the rest of the house is positively spotless.


  1. Oh my gosh this post made me laugh so hard! I can totally relate.

  2. Whoa, the goldfish strategy is totally mine when it comes to - well, doing anything I don't like doing. Mostly cleaning. (^v^)

    "Hey, honey, I cleaned out the shelves and reorganized the kitchen drawer!"
    - "Wait, hadn't you said you were going to file your taxes?"
    - "Yes, but... I think your socks need ironing."
    - ...

  3. Lol "it gets worse before it gets better" very true in my case


  4. This is hilarious! You've got me rolling on the floor : )

  5. oh.my.gosh. Sooooo friggin' hilarious. I was seriously laughing out loud like a lunatic. I think the painter standing at my door will probably report to his boss that the lady in the gray house is a wack job. Oh well - worth it.

  6. It's very true, I wonder why this always happens!!! Suddenly clean-up day becomes a trip to memory lane... :)

  7. Made a post about your blog... yup - its that funny. Hope you don't mind the exposure ;)

  8. Oh girl, you are seriously funny. And incredibly imaginative. You are a gifted writer. Thanks for the laughs and for following.

  9. I nearly choked on my bubblegum while reading this b/c I was laughing so hard!! This was totally worth almost needing the Heimlich from the slightly stinky, balding guy sitting behind me in Starbucks right now. You are too funny!! :o) Following you now, honey!!

    Sarah Kate

  10. WOW! OK we are SO alike it is scary! I do that almost each time I clean out something! LOL you crack me up! Following you now from the FNF blog hop(I am one of the co-hosts)

  11. New follower from FMBT :)

  12. you clean like I do...LMFAO!

  13. feel ya! I like doing that type of cleaning every so often - and somehow I always start in the bedroom and also remember old times through photos...sometimes I wonder why we keep so much stuff for so long.

    thanks for following: paying the favor back.

    embellishments by tina

  14. You are too funny and here is something that is going to make you faint. I love to clean and even have a successful business doing just that.
    Want to become more nauseous?
    I'm a detail house cleaner where my favorite tools are toothpicks and toothbrushes and I even wash the floors on my hands and knees.
    I have to admit though that you do sound like you have fun cleaning your way. :)
    Thanks for coming to visit my blog and I'm returning the bloggy love.

  15. Hi Marlee,
    Thanks for joining us for FMBT.. I couldn't see your GFC box on FireFox or Chrome so I clicked to follow from your Nav Bar above.. I think it works the same.. :)
    Have a great week,

  16. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!! I'm laughing so hard I've got tears! You are hysterical - and your cleaning sounds way more fun than mine. Not to mention your boyfriend could give my hubby some pointers. ;) Thanks for linking up - I'm your newest follower! :)

    Fun, Rain, DaGeDar and Legendary People - RTT Rebel

  17. Hi, thank you for following, I'm stopping by to happily return the follow!

    Hope you have a great Wednesday!


  18. I feel left out. But once I get started I'm non stop until I'm done. I try to clean it up and keep it clean so I don't have to clean large amounts at a time. But hey, whatever works for you.

  19. Thanks for stopping by my blog. I am your newest follower. I love Idaho too and miss it. Right now my husband's job has us living in Oklahoma.

    Idaho At Heart

  20. You cracked me up :) Linking this up with us made the Creative Bloggers' Party & Hop better and more special. Thank you!

  21. great post i am so glad you found me and we have found each other... i too do the same while cleaning but is so fun. again ty for dropping by.
    now following and not because i had to but because i want to ;)

  22. So funny and awesome writing! Love your blog!
    So happy to be following you back.
    jenny at dapperhouse

  23. you are so funny!!!! i like to clean... when i want to not because i have to... and i have to a lot -- 3 children = clean a lot!!!

  24. TOO FUNNY! I love it and am so glad you stopped by my blog yesterday to become a new follower. However, I didn't see you on my list of friends as followers? Either way - I am your latest follower and I can't wait to catch up on your blog even more and while you are visiting mine - be sure to check out my "couponing" section as it has a lot of great tips for saving $$$ buying groceries (in the event you don't already coupon) LOL. Have a great day! :)

  25. This is hilarious! So glad you found me on the hop so that I could find you!

  26. I want a closet with that much fun stuff. :o)

  27. Haha "it gets worse before it gets better" is the line I always use when cleaning. The problem is... it usually doesn't get better.

    This is a really great post! I laughed pretty hard at the dialogue bit.



    New follower in from FMBT. Love ya already!

  29. Hello there! =)

    I'm following from the Blog Hop.

    Please follow me back:


  30. Hello fellow aspiring pinup!! I learned the hard way that finding the perfect shade of red lipstick is sooo not easy. However, I have to say that you should try NYC's Retro Red. I own lipsticks in every price range and type, (matte, shiny, cream, expensive, non expensive...) and this one is the one I wear the most and the one I recommend to everyone most often. It works great on like every skin tone, it's smooth long lasting, makes ur lips feel really soft, and at about $2 I'm sure it'll fit in to your bugeting during college! :D

  31. This is so good. Just so good.

  32. Hilarious!! I wish I could say I had as much fun as you when I clean...alas I try to do it as fast as I can just to be done with it...although there are times I don't mind it so much :)

  33. I need your cleaning fun. I dread it. Which reminds me, I guess I need to start cleaning huh? LOL.

  34. Thanks for stopping in at my blog. So glad I came to check you out. I laughed so hard. I could totally imagine the whole scene with your stuff all over. What a wonderful carefree sense of humor. So refreshing.

  35. I really need to clean out the storage and stuff...one of these days lol... Thanks for stopping by my blog :) I followed you back

  36. Thanks for following!
    I am your newest follower.
    Review Adventures

  37. Was just going to leave a comment letting you know I was now following you back... and I ended up reading your hilarious post! So I'm subscribing via email as well so I don't miss any future posts. =)

  38. lol Awesome post!
    your right, it certainly does get a lot worse before it gets better..
    Thanks for stopping by, I've returned the favor.

  39. This was so funny and so warm.

    You've just earned yourself a follower.

    Just in case you're down on yourself for being so immature, you should know that I am twelve years old much of the time and that I quite enjoy it.

    My undergraduate studies will end in December. I can't imagine having to finance a graduate degree. Good luck to you.

  40. Following you now from the blog hop. You are seriously funny! LOL! I really enjoyed this post and your style of cleaning. You have way more fun with it than I do - and that's the way it should be!

    Thanks for stopping by my blog.


  41. Marlee, you won the Glass Dharma giveaway at Where Am I?!


    Send me an email with your mailing address if you don't mind- dustileigh@gmail.com :)


  42. Love your blog! Can't wait to read more! Following you back!



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