Monday, May 30, 2011

Lesson 6: Collect Something Worthwhile


(While watching the movie "Home Alone")
Boyfriend: "Why don't you wear more outfits with shoulder pads?"
Me: "I dunno. I really should. I know how much you're attracted to linebackers."

Some people, as a hobby, collect certain items. Stamps, coins, dolls; the list can go on forever. When I was in 6th grade, I had a small collection of bookmarks. No idea why, it's not like I was ever reading more than one or two books at a time. But nonetheless I had a stack of about 120 bookmarks, and I was very proud of it.

Now that I'm an adult, my collections have changed a bit. Of course during my undergraduate years I, like many (if not all) college students, went through a shot glass collecting phase. My boyfriend and I also had a decent collection of local beer glasses, but after accidently putting all of our dishes in the "donation" pile during our last move, we've recently had to begin rebuilding the collection from scratch.

However, there is one thing we do collect that we're actually fairly proud of. It's a hell of a conversation starter, and the source of envy for more than a few of our friends. I don't even know how it got started really, but I've got to say, it's been a seriously useful group of items to have around the house.

My boyfriend and I collect awesomely bad movies.

First of all, we must define the term "awesomely bad", and I would define it as something so incredibly awful that it's hilarious. Now these are different than movies that are intentionally trying to be bad. I mean don't get me wrong, "Airplane" and any of the Monty Python movies are hugely funny, but they would be under the category of awesome, not awesomely bad. I think the perfect storm is when a movie tries to be scary or serious, while at the same time trying to make a political statement or teach a lesson. When it all goes wrong, the corniness factor basically skyrockets. And when that happens? It ends up in our living room, on our special awesomely bad shelf.

A little top ten action, you ask? Why certainly!

Top 10 Awesomely Bad Movies

10.) Sidekicks

Take your overall karate movie plotline: a kid considers himself a nobody so to turn his life around, he begins idolizing someone who is seen kicking ass on a regular basis. Who better than Chuck Norris? And no I don't mean Chuck Norris as a character, I mean Chuck Norris as himself. In a classic case of overacting and good vs evil (not to mention some seriously impressive nunchuck action), Chuck once again goes the distance in awesomely bad movie #10. Unless you want to spoil the climactic (although possibly predictable) ending, here's a little peek:


Oh and by the way, if you happen to come across a movie starring Chuck Norris called "Octagon" buy it. Pay whatever it takes. It's probably Chuck's worst yet, but being that it's only available in Japan, I didn't find it fair to put it on a list meant for more mainstream films.

9.) Nothing But Trouble

I actually struggled whether or not to put this movie on the list. Since it has a cast consisting of Dan Aykroyd, Chevy Chase, and John Candy, I really had to debate if the movie was meant to be horrible. Nonetheless, while there was an abundance of slapstick humor (the judge's removable nose is the tip of a...um...p.e.n.i...), some basic laughable dialogue (c'mon it's John Candy and Chevy Chase), and even Demi Moore (in an obviously insignificant career move), I just couldn't get past the utter ridiculousness of the characters and premise. The movie literally has no plot, just a string of events that seem to be an excuse to...well honestly I have no idea. Still, looking back, I just can't fathom how a movie could be made this bad unintentionally, so maybe I'm in the wrong on this one. Still, if you consider yourself an individual who happens to be rather friendly with a young lady named Mary Jane, you might want to consider putting this one in your overall movie collection next to Fear and Loathing. Here's a look at the preview:



8.) Class Act

Oh where to start...

Set in the early 90's, from the rap/pop duo Kid'N'Play in the midst of shoulder pads, stonewashed (or is it acid washed?) jeans, and electro jams, this movie clearly shows the longterm effects of inhaling large amounts of hairspray for an entire decade. Two high school students, the honor rollee and the criminal, enroll in a new school where they find their transcripts have been inadvertently switched. With both students desperate for a chance to live life on the "other side of the tracks", they don't alert the school to the error, and shenanigans ensue. Add on an over the top "Say No To Drugs" message, and the movie crosses over into the realm of awesomely bad. Although basically anything from this time period provides a weath of movies known for their embarassing 90's existence, this one just barely finds itself in victory lane. It was a close one though (I'm lookin at you Return To Frogtown). Here's a preview:



7.) Street Fighter

In this video game adaptation, you've got all the makings of a great movie. A $20 million ransom, a fictional region of Asia, gang infiltration, an amazing amount of fighting and explosions, mutants...

Problem is, you also have some incredibly cheesy lines combined with some brilliant overacting. Don't believe me? It stars Jean-Claude Van Damme. 'Nuff said. Here's the 1994 trailer:



6.) Airborne

Ah your everyday love story about a kid from out of town, just trying to get by on his above average skating skills. Throw in a predictable conflict with the high school hockey jocks and a gigantic, completely unrealistic downhill "course" named Devil's Backbone, and you've got yourself a stage set for some awesomely bad rollerblading redemption. There's also the rare treats of seeing some of our more successful stars in their beginning days (Jack Black, Seth Green, among others). I present to you a slice of my listworthy movie #6:


5.) Only the Strong

I know, I know, another early 90's pick, but I just can't help it. They really are that fantastic. This movie contains the airtight logic that troubled youth on an obvious path to drugs and destruction can be turned in the right direction by the introduction of a martial arts style of dance. Plus the main character is "The Chairman" from Iron Chef (as well as other movies, but that's how I know him best). Grab some cheetos and give it a shot:


4.) Roadhouse

If you're a man, there is no reason for me to explain further. Plus you probably already own it, and it's not in your "awesomely bad" collection, it's in your "best movies of all time" collection.

If you're a woman, watch this preview, and I dare you to challenge me on the incredibly unrealistic (and hilariously misleading) nature of the following movie:


3.) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: Secret of the Ooze

I know this seems insulting, to put a movie so incredibly spectacular as this on a list as moronic as this, but there's just no getting around the fact that it's about teenage mutant ninja turtles. I'm sorry to those of you who are fans (I'm a huge one) but just because people love it doesn't mean it's not awesomely bad. Why the second one? It's titled "Secret of the Ooze". It's about ooze. And there's a secret about it. And the entire movie is based on this secret. C'mon, it's just asking for a spot.


2.) Zombie Strippers

I really can't say it any better than the title already does. God I love this movie:


1.) The Last Dragon

If you've never heard of this movie until now, let me say "you're welcome" ahead of time. It's got karate, a main character named Bruce LeRoy, a mystical power called the glow, a pop princess (singer Vanity - disovered by Prince and clearly blowing her big break), a bad guy wearing NFL shoulder pads and venetian blind sunglasses, not to mention a wise old karate man who seems strangely similar to Mr. Miyagi. Give it a go, thank me in the morning:



Alright folks there it is, my top 10 awesomely bad movies. The collection has others, but these are the main attractions. So tell me, what are you favorites? Does my list hold up, or is there a gaping hole (something by Nicholas Cage perhaps?) I might have overlooked? Let me know!

P.S. As always, don't forget to vote in the poll on the right! Read this post for explanation!

40 comments:

  1. Hi Marlee, thanks for the follow. Following you back. Have a terrific Memorial Day!

    Laura
    www.agoddessoffrugality.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. Geez, I *love* "Zombie Strippers". The BF thinks it's kind of disgusting... wonder why that is? ^^

    ReplyDelete
  3. Cute Blog! I loved it so much I decided to follow! Happy Monday! I would love for you to stop by and check out my blog as well! If you like it you can follow back! Thanks! Hope to blog with you again soon!

    Http://heavenlysavings.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  4. Your list cracked me up. Smart collection too, takes up little space and will ALWAYS bring you laughs.....

    ReplyDelete
  5. Roadhouse is a classic!! Healey has the bar band and well we can't forget swayze. Good list here. I wanted to thank you for swinging by 2 Against 1 , be sure to start your week off right by linking up to the Magnificent Monday blog hop.
    Following back now :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. HA HA! Found your site through a monday blog hop and LOVE your sense of humor. :)I love the post about the reality shows. :) too funny. I'm following you now, and if you want to stop by and say hi, I'm at http://itsawahmlife.com

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thanks for following me on GFC, I'm returning the favor....

    I grew up during the 80s and 90s so I remember most of those movies lol. I used to especially love Sidekicks (had the vhs) and Airborne LOL

    http://www.southernpixie.com

    ReplyDelete
  8. I think the only movie I saw from that list is Roadhouse. New public follower here from Say Hi Sunday. Nice blog. I would appreciate you following back http://talesfrommyjournal.blogspot.com I would also appreciate if you would like me in facebook http://www.facebook.com/DeniseMartin.LillaRose and in twitter @DeniseLillaRose. I always follow back. Just leave me a note so I know you stopped by.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I loved sidekicks! Maybe I was too much a child of the late 80's/early 90's :) Following you from the magnificent monday blog hop, have a great week! You can find me at
    http://wvfrugal-wvsaver.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  10. Awesomely bad, yes, but they must be watchable too, right? I can think of many awesomely bad movies that I would NEVER want to watch again (David Mamet's The Spanish Prisoner comes to mind, Anaconda II and maybe Eyes Wide Shut)But for Awesomely Bad but Watchable My vote is for Delta Force with none other than Chuck Norris. Then ending is just the best bad film finale you'll ever see. Promise! Runner up would be The Posiedon Adventure (the original, of course) and my in the Comedic genre High School High with Jon Lovitz. Cheers! I am your newest follower as you just follwed me..thanks..ann @ housefinally.blogspot

    ReplyDelete
  11. I am following you back, thanks for the follow, have a great Monday!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Roadhouse: bad movie yes, but awesome eye candy. lol

    Are you a Mystery Science Theater 3000 fan too? My hubby has a pretty good sized collection of that series.

    Thanks for visiting Sueberry Lane. Have a great week!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Nothing But Trouble is one of my favorite movies! Following back.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I’m following you from “Follow me Back Tuesday.” I look forward to your follow back.
    Cheers,
    Shanae
    My Blog

    ReplyDelete
  15. Funny! My husband collects bad movies too. Oh sorry they are his good movies only they are on my bad movie list. He will find movies I like and record them but he will not watch them. We do not agree on what is a good or bad movie.

    I am following you via Take Three Tuesday Blog Hop. I am also following you GFC. Please come visit if you get the time.

    http://itsabouttimemamaw.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  16. lol! bad movies? I collect arts and crafts supplies. I also like to collect coffee mugs. My dad and I have considered collecting awful horror films.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Every time I pop over I learn something new. I had only heard of 2 of these movies and while I haven't collected them I'm going to add the other ones to my "DNW" list ;)
    Do Not Watch

    ReplyDelete
  18. Roadhouse! Ya gotta love MST3K too - they make bad movies awesome :)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Haha!! I'm laughing at this post :) to cute even though i am a fanatic of sidekicks - lol :)

    Coming by to return the love and follow back!!

    Loving your corner of the internet and can't wait to read some more!!
    Thank you for the early birthday wishes!!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Now I know just which movies to avoid LOL.

    Thanks for stopping by Hip2bMom. Following you back now :)

    ReplyDelete
  21. Thanks for following me at Just the Two of Us and Deals. I went to follow you back but I was already following via GFC at kport207.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Following you from Follow back Tuesday-nice to meet you!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Giggle, I love your collection! I am a "B" movie enthusiast. I love the corny shows like when giant ants attacks, or shark versus octopus...LOL If it's silly, like oh piranha,Lake placid etc... I Love them!

    Hugs
    P.S> I voted

    ReplyDelete
  24. The only one I've seen of those is Roadhouse! I shall have to look out for the others!:)

    Just stopped by to return the favour and follow you back!

    Have a lovely week!

    Jill @ Creating my way to Success
    http://www.jembellish.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  25. Thanks for stopping by and following from the NOBH! I'm excited to help out! Oh, and I love your list. We especially like the B movies on the Sci Fi channel...lol!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Thanks for following Bacon Time with the hungry hungry hypo, following back with gfc, I have some give away you should enter this month too.

    ReplyDelete
  27. This is too funny! I was cracking up all the way through it....almost tempted to rent a few that I haven't seen just because of your descriptions :)
    Thanks for joining us at NOBH...
    ~Kara

    ReplyDelete
  28. Thanks for stopping by and following I am following back. I love your list!! I am partial to Sam Elliot so I did like Road House. :) If you get a chance there was a move made in 1980 called The Apple, a musical set in the "future" - 1990s that deals with god and the devil, a rock band and drugs, very weird and soooooo bad. I think you would like it. Have a great rest of the week, I am looking forward to seeing more of your blog.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Phew! I'm glad to say I don't think I've seen any of those movies. Thank God. Hahah. And now that you've told me about them, I don't think I ever will. Thanks for stopping by my blog and following me!

    ReplyDelete
  30. OMG! I have a special place in my heart for awesomely bad HORROR movies. A few of my older faves include: Waxworks and the Subspecies series. My newest favorite: "Zombies of Mass Destruction" I highly recommend for any terrible movie lover.

    Also, I gave you an award on my blog! Enjoy!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Let us not forget ISHTAR (1987) with Warren Beatty and Dustin Hoffman. All time worst movie, ever!

    Thanks for following http://www.lifewithafussyeater.com

    ReplyDelete
  32. Oh no, not TMNT3! lol j/k, but my boys loved the cartoon when they were little. :)
    Thanks for following me at Life or Something Like It, following you back.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Big Trouble Little China- it was a huge classic back at college for the same reasons. It is terribly awesome! We quoted it over and over again.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Returning the Love. Thanks for the follow.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Princess Bride, all the way!! Great post :), Miriam@Meatless Meals For Meat Eaters

    ReplyDelete
  36. Zombies of Mass Destruction and Ishtar are fantastically bad, and MST3K is just plain hilarious! They switch the script around though, so I didn't think I could count is as a movie itself (although I remember laughing till I cried while watching any of the MST3K stuff. So good!)

    Ha and Princess Bride would be under the category of awesome. I just love it too much to put it on a list like this ;)!!

    And it looks like I'll be watching The Apple and Big Trouble Little China. I haven't seen either of them, so I'm looking forward to it! Great suggetions everyone!

    ReplyDelete
  37. Um...I haven't seen most of those.

    I'm going with The Replacements - Gene Hackman and Keanu Reeves in a football movie. When it is on TNT, I can't turn it off.

    ReplyDelete
  38. I definitely think everyone needs a collection of "awesomely bad" movies. I find that the "older" or "classic" movies are really fun to re-watch. Thanks for visiting my blog from the all week long blog hop! I'm glad you did and hope you drop by again soon.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Legend. Starring Tom Cruise. Even the description is horrific.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legend_(film)
    The two dwarves are its only redeeming features. Rented it for my daughter's birthday party a decade ago and we still use it as a marker. "That was a pretty bad movie but not as bad as 'Legend'.
    Tom Cruise as forest sprite. Watch it.

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts:

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...