Friday, September 9, 2011

Lesson 15: Know Your Weaknesses


For most of us - scratch that - all of us, there is at least one situation that not only tests our ability to make our own decisions, but proves we're completely lacking in it. A specific circumstance that, when the conditions are duplicated time and time again, we perform the exact same action, regardless of any preconceived plan.

"Not I," I can hear you muttering under your breath. Sorry, but I'm not buyin' it. You're just as vulnerable as I am. I actually like to think I'm pretty good at exercising that whole 'free will' concept, but because I am already sensing your growing skepticism before I've hardly completed my second paragraph I'm willing to give a few personal examples in order to shed some light on my end of the argument.

For instance, if I at any time I discover a piano within walking distance, I will play that piano. If a stray cat comes within a 20 block radius of my current location, I will find that cat and I will pet that cat. If at any time I find myself within reasonable proximity to cake, a small portion of that cake will be missing by the time I leave. These things are entirely out of my hands, people. It's cause and effect. Just as simple as that.

Still shaking your head in denial? How about when you're at a friend's house and there seems to be some kind of food preparation taking place. Do you consistently weasel yourself into performing a certain cooking task? Like chopping? Or mixing? Or taste-testing the brownie batter/cookie dough? Right, that's what I thought.

So now that we're on the same page, I'd like to share with you the specific item that causes an avalanche of chaos the moment I come in contact with it. My own personal 'life landmine', if  you will.

Last year was my most recent encounter. It was a random Saturday afternoon and I found myself in a Barnes & Noble, browsing the shelves for a book to entertain myself with until I felt like doing something more productive. Just killin' time on a lazy Saturday, that's all. Frolicking about...doo-doo-dee-doo...just a lookin' and a readin'...not hurtin' anybody...

AhhhhhI'mlying. I lied. Just now. Sorry. Spoken like a true addict I've sugar-coated my story to make it seem more innocent than it is. But I can't lie to you, faithful follower. You're just so damn pure...

You see I never just casually "end up" at Barnes & Noble. I go there with a specific purpose, and once I am there, I never just nonchalantly drift among the various genres, letting my interest rise and fall depending on the selection before me. I more or less stall, attempting to navigate in a strategic way that allows me to "accidentally" arrive at the giant wall in the back left corner. "Act natural," I tell myself. But I can't act natural, I'm too excited. That wall, you see, is the "forbidden section".

The "forbidden section" is the travel section. And on that wall, at the very top, is a book that is completely off limits. In my mind, I describe it as about four feet tall and two feet wide. A monster on the thrown that is the top shelf. It radiates a soft comforting music that draws me in like a moth to a bug zapper. Oh yeah, and it glows in the dark.

Okay in real life it's nothing all that fancy, but this is my story so that's irrelevant. It's the National Geographic book Journey's of a Lifetime: 500 of the World's Greatest Trips. It's honestly not even allowed in the house. I would be completely broke if it were, my savings account having been drained to purchase plane tickets and pepper spray. But in Barnes & Noble, it sits on that back wall, beckoning to me; the staff completely oblivious to the havoc it wreaks on my imagination.


The last time I saw it, I texted my boyfriend to let him know of my dishonorable intentions:

Me: I found a very bad thing.
Boyfriend: Um...what's that?
Me: I'm in Barnes 'n' Noble.
Boyfriend: Marlee, put the book down, and slowly back away.
Me: I can almost reach it.
Boyfriend: It's dangerous.
Me: It's so pretty...
Boyfriend: Marlee...
Me: It has PICTURES!
Boyfriend: On my way.

And 20 minutes later I was rescued.

Someday I will own that book. It's not like it's incredibly expensive or anything, it's just something I can't have at the moment. My impulsive nature being as strong as it is, there's no telling what would happen if it were being consistently provoked with pictures of gardens in the south of France or stunning landscapes of New Zealand. No, that's just not a good combination. So for now I wait.

And what about you? Do you have any 'life landmines' that you're aware of?

Lots of Lovin' Weekend Blog Hop So Followed Saturday

19 comments:

  1. Haha! The BF has instructions to drag me away every time he finds me buying books - I have about 200 that I haven't read yet, and I am always buying more! (Well, I do if I can afford them, and there are book exchange corners in our town where there are lots of free books, and every time I take some there, I end up taking more home... )

    Books. I love books. I love the stories, and the act of reading and experiencing the story, and I like the way books look, standing in bookshelves or scattered all over the flat... and my books look pretty sad once I am done with them. As if they went through the adventures printed on their pages...

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  2. I want to take that book and slap you upside your head! Kidding, of course... because I wouldn't want to damage the book.... grrrr, that was just so WRONG of you! I love to travel, but we can't afford it and if that book was any where near me, I'd max out my credit cards!

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  3. LOL! Everything is a landmine for me. I'm the queen of over indulgence.

    On a side note, I say you deserve that book!

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  4. Cute story. Every time I am in B&N (like today), I end up in the kids section...

    Thanks for linking up to the NOBH

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  5. Pretty dangly earings, nail polish, and Bollywood films are my weaknesses.

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  6. I think I have more books than anything else. It takes me forever to go through them. I buy them before I have time to read them so I have a huge collection of "I haven't read that yet". I understand perfectly.

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  7. Serious food for thought. In the past it would be bird figurines and Christmas decorations. My twin and I started a collection of bird figurines over 10 years ago and it grew into a huge collection. Now I would spend money on books but I am more careful these days!:) I am a new Follower of your Blog. Very interesting post!
    Judy - JUDY H-J'S BLOG

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  8. ROTFL!!!!!!!

    Yes...my name is KIM, and I am a BOOKAHOLIC!

    My poison of choice is fiction. Most any will do.

    Pop fiction...classic fiction...children's fiction. Horror, fantasy, suspense, mystery, historical, biographical, Sci-fi...

    They say the first step to getting a handle on our kind of problem, is admitting to it.

    I'm so proud of you! (Insert chuck on chin of comradeship here)

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  9. Personal landmines?
    Chocolate; if it's in the house I HAVE to eat it.
    Icecream; if it's in the house I HAVE to eat it.
    Books; Fiction; if I find a story I really, really like I buy everything I can find by the same author. Especially if the story is part of a trilogy or series.
    woe is me, I shall never be rich as long as these things keep calling to me.

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  10. Ha, very entertaining post! And yes, food is a landmine of mine. I usually leave grocery shopping to my Ogre, but last night I had to go pick up a prescription - and couldn't resist buying the peanut butter ice cream that was on sale, too. So guess what I had for dinner? ;D

    Btw, I stumbled this! My post: Zombie Costumes

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  11. Great post! Stumbled and shared!
    http://pmaynardwrites.blogspot.com/2011/09/how-to-explain-9-11-to-your-children.html

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  12. Great lesson. I found you on the So Followed Saturday Hop and I'm following you now. Stop by when you can.

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  13. Weakness. Hmm.

    After a bit of thought, coffee came to mind. It's something that I can't just have 1 of on occasion. I either drink a half a pot a day, or not at all. I can get stuck in the coffee section like you get stuck in a bookstore.

    I found you on Howard House's Stop and Stumble Saturday Hop and was glad to Stumble your post.

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  14. I buy books too. Too many books. I also have a problem with ice cream. Oh and I understand about the cats too. And dogs. Any other animal that is touchable.

    Really great post. Stumbled it. visiting from the stop and stumble hop.

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  15. Hi there. I am addicted to book stores! I can disappear for hours into Chapters. Following you on FB & Twitter.

    I stumbled your post. I'd love for you to check out mine http://www.babygiveawaysgalore.com/2011/09/family-friday-breastfeeding-conclusions.html

    {Stop & Stumble Hop}

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  16. Hahaha. Love your story. Reminds me of when I used to sew all my own clothes. When I quit I had enough fabrics still waiting to be sewn into something to open up my own store. I never could turn down a pretty piece of cloth.

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  17. Very funny! Yes, you will own that book one day! I think I may have to check it out now. I am visiting from the Stop and Stumble Hop. I have stumbled this post. If you have a chance please stumble mine too. http://www.messforless.net/2011/09/foam-window-clings.html
    Thanks!

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  18. Hello, I'm a new gfc follower of your blog from "Say Hi Sunday":)
    http://www.savingwithsaveone.blogspot.com

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  19. Hey! Thanks for joining the Planet Weidknecht Weekend Hop!

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